TIPS FOR COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR CHILD
October 15th, 2011

How is it going?  Are you making progress being a safe “listener” for your child?  I have a few more interventions for you to think about trying!  Are you ready?!

If the school problems that your child is having have anything to do with bullying or anxiety – scroll through the following blogs and you will get more information and encouragement!

·        If it is bullying - go to the School Bullying blog from October 30, 2010.

·        If it is anxiety - go to the School Daze blog from October 23, 2010.

Other miscellaneous interventions that might be helpful are:

• Ask your child what he/she thinks would make things better at school.  Let them think!  Remember not to correct them prematurely but let them do some higher critical thinking.
• Role-play with your child any of the specific problem situations he/she is experiencing so your child can be more successful next time.  An additional suggestion is for you to take your child’s part first and let your child be the other person.  This way you can model both the unacceptable behavior and then the desired one.  Then switch and let your child be “himself!”  It is a good thing to actually demonstrate what you would like your child to be do or say. 
• Ask the teacher to pair your child with another student in the classroom for a sense of connection.
• Get more information from the teacher about the incident, behavior, or problem from the teacher’s perspective.  The parents and teachers can then partner to help your child to be more successful.
• Be careful with your praise.  Sometimes when we praise our children for their performance – this sets them up to be forever “performance-driven.”  We want to always praise them for their intrinsic qualities as well.  What messages are you sending?
• If appropriate, teach your child to ask forgiveness.
• If you - the parent - feel as if you have failed in some of these areas you can ask the child’s forgiveness too.  Often when we disclose our own failures, great connections happen! 
• No parent wants to be a bad parent but we often stay in survival mode or automatic pilot and don’t think about the messages we are giving our child.  Parents can do damage – but they can also build up.  Hang in there!
• If you are not getting the resources you need to bring healthy changes – or if what you are doing is not helping - ask for help!

Posted by Dr. Helen McIntosh in Communication - Part II   |  0 Comment(s)  |  Leave a Comment